My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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