This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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