idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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