last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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