then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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