Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
