i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
