chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well you can't waste a boner
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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