So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
