By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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