just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
