Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
