so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
