These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
