just come out here and I will go home with you...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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