I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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