i permit you to call me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize