Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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