i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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