I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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