You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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