I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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