it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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