I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
