Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
