I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We named our party play list daddy issues
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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