OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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