I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
