That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
