I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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