he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
