I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
