wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
