How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm really busy with my period
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