and you said cock pushups were impossible
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
