im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
