i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
