why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
