I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
