Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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