Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
