fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
