either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
