I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
