Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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