hotel room ftw
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
