Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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