You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
