Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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