people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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