i think i have herpe
just one?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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