Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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