i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
