There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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