Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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